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Hope - The Spark of Life I write these words during one of the most difficult weeks of my life. It's Tuesday afternoon and I'm still in shock after receiving news this morning that one of my coaches at the University of Texas committed suicide. In addition to being a very successful coach at one of the premiere track programs, he was a highly successful collegiate athlete and enjoyed the fruits of a successful business career. To those of us who knew him, he was always upbeat and was a beacon of optimism. He seemed to be enjoying an idyllic retirement - living his dream as a rancher in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. I, like his friends and family, just can't imagine why such a happy and successful man could have taken his life. He was my coach and my friend and I can vividly remember the last time I saw him - at a University of Texas football game last year. We met after the game and he seemed to be on top of the world. His ever present smile and sense of humor were uplifting and he seemed to really enjoy our fellowship. I'll never forget his last words, "Byrd, come see me at the ranch." He's gone and he'll never be able to share his wonderful spirit with others. All I can think is, "Coach, why? I'm really struggling with this. It's one thing to die from natural causes, but it's another thing to take your own life. I sure don't sit in judgment, as I came close to taking my own life years ago. What I do know is that there can come a time in one's life, maybe it's only minutes, when they lose hope and just can't stand the pain any longer. One of the solutions to ending the pain is suicide. The sad news is that this choice is final and the pain is transferred to the living friends and family members. And they may deal with the question of "why" for the rest of their lives. What I do know is that this man lost hope. It's said that we can live 40 days without food, 4 days without water, but only four seconds without hope. What's the lesson from this horrible tragedy? What I've learned is to never assume that people are what they seem to be. Coach appeared to be on top of the world and living a successful life. But something happened that caused him to lose hope and he just decided to end it all. I can't help but reflect on the interview when Joe Dimaggio was asked why his wife, the beautiful and talented actress Marilyn Monroe, had taken her life. His response, "she had everything to live with but nothing to live for." I want to close with the following "happy ending" story "This story occurred at a junior high school and gives a revealing glimpse of what I'm talking about here. A new computer system was installed in this school specifically because its students had scored in the lowest statewide percentiles in every subject. Now, computers certainly are not cure-alls, and they won't cure what ails our public schools. But, interestingly, when the computers were installed, many of these kids' rankings and test scores went up." "The most touching story was about a kid named Raymond, who had every problem in the book - a dysfunctional home, acute shyness, bad eyesight and zero academic performance. But in one semester with the computer, Raymond had a remarkable turn around. His math achievement scores rose from a second-grade level to a junior-high level. They got Raymond in front of a camera for an interview and asked how it was that he blossomed so magnificently. "Well, he said, "the kids here call me 'retard', but the computer calls me Raymond."* How did Raymond's story impact you? My thought is that if a soulless piece of equipment can give a person hope, just think of the impact we could make if we spent the time to reach out and genuinely care about others. People like Raymond and Coach and maybe you and me are starving for the healing power of compassion. When's the last time you sent a handwritten note of appreciation? Gave a hug or a pat on the back? Shared your smile? Told someone friend, family member, business associate that you loved them? How about making that call (you know the one I'm talking about); extending forgiveness, being present. The good news is that it's never too late to start touching hearts and giving hope. I sincerely hope you will join me on this crusade. The best way to reduce the painful "why" is for you and me to let people know "why" they are important. Please remember that hope is the spark of life. Share your flame. Your friend,  *Closing of message delivered to the Securities Industry Association - 6/01 Bill Esrey, President Sprint In Memory of Coach Bill Miller 8/27/41 6/15/09 | |
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