The key to effective communication is asking the right questions. After a recent speaking engagement, I was asked, “Byrd, when did you find clarity in your life?” In other words, this man was asking, “When did you finally get it?” This was several weeks ago and I have been reflecting on this powerful question. My answer to him is the essence of this newsletter. I finally “got it” when I realized that life was not about me.

Many of you have heard me say from the platform that the old Byrd had a double dose of PGA – Power, Greed, and Arrogance. It was all about me, and my destructive lifestyle was dedicated to achieving personal success at the expense of significance. My relationships with my wife and children were shallow at best, as I treated perfect strangers better than my family. I was a full-fledged perfectionist and focused on others’ weaknesses (especially my family) versus building on their strengths. I was climbing the corporate ladder, determined to make it to the top. Things were looking great in 1990, comfortable executive job, beautiful home, nice cars, etc, etc, etc… That’s when my “controlled life” took an unexpected and unwelcome detour. I was called into a meeting and asked to resign from my “comfortable” executive position. My reaction was one of anger and “why me?” Up until this point, I didn’t get it, as life was all about me - I was totally absorbed with self. I suddenly realized that “into self is a very lonely place.” In retrospect, this adversity was the turning point – a true epiphany – in my life. The transformation began once I realized that serving others was the most fulfilling purpose.

My journey since 1990 has been one of miracles and blessings. After thirteen jobs, seven careers, and fourteen moves, I found my true calling as a professional speaker and author. Once I got out of self and into others – change of focus from “me” to “we” – the rewards have been unbelievable. My speaking career is flourishing and we have published thirteen best-selling books! This unexpected success is totally the result of dedicating my life to pleasing God by living a life of complete integrity and serving others by helping them become more effective leaders at home and work.

My passion is helping organizations develop great leaders. I have studied the lives of great leaders like Tom Landry, Herb Kelleher, Mary Kay Ash, and Mother Teresa. It is my observation that the most effective leaders (you and I included) have dedicated their lives to serving others. I am sure you will agree that Mother Teresa was a great role model and there is tremendous wisdom in her words. What most of you don’t know is that Mother Teresa had a business card. My friend Brad Harsha was blessed to have an audience with this saint. Brad presented me with a most cherished possession, one of Mother Teresa’s business cards. I would like to share the inspirational words that are printed on her calling card…

The fruit of silence is prayer.
The fruit of prayer is faith.
The fruit of faith is love.
The fruit of love is service.
The fruit of service is peace. – Mother Teresa
It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s all about the power of we. We become effective leaders when our actions inspire others to dream, risk, believe, and achieve.

And remember, it’s all about the relationship.